The Courage for Another
by KeaganPate
Summary: If things had been different...what if Jane and Maura knew each other differently before their first crime scene together? What if their first meeting was in a bar? What if Jane was fighting for Maura's honor with a kiss? **Sorry guys, I didn't expect the story to take the turn that it did, I changed the rating to M!
1. Chapter 1

Jane was brooding. She brooded well. Her dark hair and dark eyes pulled the emotion off well; all that was required was a sour expression and _boom_, instant sulking. Her Blue Moon caught the reflection of the bar lights as she spun the bottle around slowly mimicking the slow, methodical thoughts that churned behind her dark eyes.

Korsak had given her the rest of the night off after a particularly difficult child abduction case. She hated when kids were involved. They had never done anything to deserve the nightmares that would ensue.

_Twist. Twist._ Jane began to tip the bottle precariously onto its serrated edges. It made the _wurring_ noise of a quarter rolling across the bar top. There was a pulsing through the speakers suddenly as the beat of a new song began to pick up. It was 10:30 and the bar was turning into a bar with dancing…and college kids. BCU was only 4 blocks away and though the bar wasn't for kids, the upper classmen frequented the establishment on weekends. Good thing it was a Thursday.

_Or maybe not_. Jane subconsciously rolled her eyes as a pack of fraternity brothers in what appeared to be clothing for sailing, not bar hopping, pranced into the bar. Jane turned back to her beer, leaning over it protectively. _Not tonight. Of all nights, why tonight? _She sighed. The bartender gave her an apologetic look as he prepped shot glasses for the awaiting throng of irresponsible, barely legals.

Jane emptied the bottle and without thinking asked for another. She wanted to take the request back immediately after she raised her finger to signal one more. She wanted the freedom to leave, but her mind dragged with thoughts of her most recently failed relationship with Alana and the faces on the parents that had lost their son today.

Her family didn't know she experimented with women and she didn't want them to. Women were flings. They were fun. They were never serious Much like her relationships with men. Apparently, she didn't discriminate bad relationships based on gender. She just wasn't the relationship type for anyone.

_Maybe you do need this drink, Rizzoli._ She comforted herself with the cold amber liquid as it rolled across her tongue; the orange slice that Sal the bartender had dropped into the bottle had created a new crisp flavor that Jane was suddenly glad she stayed for. The warmth of the beer was beginning to reach her toes; her head blurred with the feeling. The music pounding in her ear didn't help.

The door of the bar opened again, Jane wouldn't have turned to look if the boys hadn't begun to chant chauvinist obscenities. Jane peered over her shoulder trying to catch a glimpse of the focus of so much attention. It only took one look. Jane twisted her entire upper body so she could see the slim, taut body of the new blonde. The newcomer looked out of place in her skintight black dress and perfectly curled blonde hair. The curve of her waist, the swell of her breasts, the dark lines of eyeliner traced under her lids created an air of attraction that Jane couldn't shake. Even though Jane could tell her eyes were lighter than hers, they were shadowed with danger. The woman dared anyone to cross her tonight. Jane's mouth hung open as she stared. The woman approached the bar, purpose driven. As the blonde moved closer, within enough range for Jane not to have to torque her body to see, the detective could see the barest traces of that black eyeliner running at the edges. Her cheeks had been expertly wiped with practiced hands. But the subtle, barely noticeable streaks were unmistakable. The woman had been crying. Jane's heart constricted. She wanted to help. But she didn't even know the woman. Still, the urge to console her didn't quit.

While Jane tirelessly sipped at her third beer, the woman to her right ordered a white wine. Though out of place in the dark bar in Boston, it suited the blonde. Somehow, it fit her. It was then that something had piqued the black-clad woman's interest. She flicked her blonde hair away from her face and used the momentum to turn a glance toward Jane. The blonde's eyes weren't red or even touched with tears. There was something else, something dark, seething, and daring beneath the gaze.

Jane swallowed, her mouth dry. She lifted her beer to the woman. A salute. _Hang in there, sweetie._ The other woman's lips curved upward at an edge. She looked away before a full smile overtook her. Jane took the bashful smile to be gratitude, but more than anything she liked to make this woman smile.

_Jesus, Jane. What the hell is wrong with you?_ Jane turned away, her eyes returning to the dark rim of the bottle. And it wasn't long until the frat boys made another appearance. This time, significantly more drunk than twenty minutes before when they had walked in.

Three of them swarmed the blonde woman without any warning. Jane's attention snapped back to the events unfolding beside her. The blonde cowered over her drink, a sudden lack of confidence spilled from every facet of the woman's façade. The boys were getting too close to her. They were smothering her by proximity. They were breathing on her. The blonde tried to ignore them. Jane's anger flared. _She just wants a fucking break, ya' douches._ Jane was yelling inside her head, floored at the audacity of these guys. But she knew this was not her fight. The woman was an adult. Adults fix their own problems.

Jane waited maybe thirty more seconds until all she could see was red. A fierce protectiveness she had never known before swirled monstrously behind her eyes. Every muscle strained to throw the boys away from this woman she didn't know. But instead, she went for a more modest tactic, and one more likely to ward off potential attention in the future.

Jane put her beer down resolutely on the bar top, finally emerging from her stool. She may have been feeling the beer but the anger made her brave and unfaltering. She took the two steps it took to approach the throng of heavy cologne and booze. She exclaimed, feigning excitement, "There you are!"

All four of them turned toward Jane. Jane ignored all but the woman as she locked eyes with her. There was something that passed between them. An understanding was reached in milliseconds. Jane was there to save her. The blonde smiled widely, accepting the female form that was approaching her resolutely. Jane pushed past the fraternity guys and did the only thing that would make a difference. She took this unknown woman's face between her hands and slammed her lips into hers. Mouths parted, hands drifted, the atmosphere changed.

Everything changed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Whoa, whoa," the blondest boy threw his hands up in surrender, "I didn't know," he was already backing away when Jane finally leaned away. She returned her hands to the sides of the blonde's face and unconsciously wiped an old tear from below her eye. They smiled at each other warmly, gratitude and shock registering simultaneously from the other woman.

"Boys, please step off, she bats for the other team," Where that came from, Jane had no idea. It rolled from her tongue before she could stop it.

"Well, I bat for your team anyway," the blonde pinched the edge of Jane's shirt, tugging her closer. She wrapped a hand around the brunette's waist, smiling seductively up at her, daring Jane to make the next move. It was the first words the blonde had spoken all night. And it was this announcement that made Jane's stomach knot uncontrollably. The woman not only accepted the ruse, she intended to play along. Jane couldn't tell if it terrified her or excited her.

The other boys had turned on a dime and returned to their herd at the sight of the feminine affection. The blonde leader of the small boy pack lingered.

"You know, if you're into the experimenting thing, I'd be…"

"You finish that sentence and I'll make sure you can't _experiment_ for the rest of your damn life." Jane fumed at the boy's audacity.

"Babe, it's okay. He was just playing around. _Weren't _you?" The blonde had wrapped her arms around Jane's middle, holding her back. Jane's gaze raised and lowered, sizing the boy up in defiance.

"You really shouldn't tease her, she carries a gun." Jane could feel the blonde smiling against her cheek. The boy retreated.

"How do you know I carry a gun?" Jane turned, now speaking only to the woman she didn't even know by name.

"When I'm holding you this close, it's hard not to know." The blonde smiled the same smile as before, the one before she had turned away. Maybe apologetic. Maybe bashful. In the dim lighting, it was hard to tell.

"Dance with me." The blonde was either toying with Jane or continuing the ruse. Either way, Jane's mouth went dry for the second time that night. She couldn't speak as she stared helplessly at the blonde. The woman smiled reassuringly. Jane nodded once, unsure what else to do. Saying, _no_, had never crossed her mind. Without another word, the seated woman arose, now standing at her full height. The heels the woman had on made her Jane's height. They sized each other up briefly, now fully comparable, before the blonde took Jane's hand in her own and led her to the center of the room where college kids and adults alike gyrated and bounced to the rhythm blaring through the speakers.

The blonde twisted seductively when she reached out to grip the back of Jane's neck, pulling her close. The brunette was still. She stood awkwardly while the blonde coiled and wound before her. Jane's hand was almost shaking when she reached out to grip the woman's waist. _What are you doing, Jane?_ A voice inside her head asked accusingly. There had never been a woman that could make Jane speechless, that could make her forget herself. The realization made her hesitate but when the woman suddenly pulled her hips against Jane's, the accusations muted. The blonde's black dress and dark makeup made her hazel eyes stand out starkly and ruthlessly. They beckoned Jane closer, called to her. Jane's hips began to twist against the other woman's as she held her close. Soon, their rhythms became unmistakably tied, their bodies grinding and pulsing as one. That feeling of just _fitting_ with someone overtook Jane. Sure, other women were dancing with each other too. This was surely okay behavior. But Jane knew this was different. It felt different. The woman's eyes were husky and wanting when she finally met Jane's eyes.

The songs blurred together, one fading to the next without pause. More people piled onto the dance floor but Jane saw no one but the gyrating form in front of her. There was no one else but them. Jane no longer cared or thought about what the voices were saying, and who was saying it. There was an all-consuming desire, a lust, to fuck to the woman in her arms. A desire she never truly had before for another woman. This woman was a first all on her own.

Sweat began to pour from them both, their hair matted with the humidity. It only made Jane crave the blonde more. With definitive zeal, the blonde pushed Jane's jacket from her shoulders. No one heard it hit the floor over the music and Jane didn't care to look for it. The suddenly bare skin left over was all at once fair game. Jane's white tank top showed signs of dirt and grime from digging through the crime scene but somehow, the blonde made her feel desired despite it. The other woman's teasing had turned to a visceral need. Their arms contorted around each other, wanting and needing more. Gripping and groping, pulling and digging. The blonde brushed a canopy of dark hair away from Jane's neck as she tilted her head toward the soft spot below Jane's ear. She looked up immediately, gauging Jane's reaction. The kiss was chaste, a test. But it ignited everything. Jane's hands gripped the woman's hips tighter. An encouragement. Their eyes met briefly. The same unspoken agreement from before transpired on the dance floor now in full view of everyone and without the pretence of survival. Jane was about to be kissed. Again.

The blonde closed the distance. There was no hesitance. There was no restraint. The possession of the kiss was immediately apparent – this woman _wanted_ Jane. Their mouths parted allowing the kiss to deepen. Jane ran her tongue against the woman's bottom lip. As the woman placated the gesture, Jane took the lip between her teeth. The moan that escaped the beautiful blonde was husky and deep.

"Let's get out of here," Jane pulled away just enough to let the words cross her lips before allowing the blonde to kiss her again.


	3. Chapter 3

They tumbled into the taxi, arms and legs contorting to find purchase. Their kiss never broke. Jane mumbled her address to the driver between breaths before pressing the blonde into the door, using it as leverage to hold herself against her.

"Oh God," the blonde huffed as Jane began to ravish her neck and shoulders, pulling the thin sleeve of the dress down to give herself a clear space to kiss.

"Jane, my name is Jane."

"Maura,"

Those were the last spoken words of the night.

Jane threw a $20 at the taxi driver and exploded out of the car with Maura following at her heels when they arrived at Jane's doorstep. The taxi driver hesitated while the two women stumbled up the stairs to Jane's apartment. The brunette pulled her keys from her pants pocket, fumbling to push them into the lock. Maura was impatient. She pulled roughly at Jane's elbow, spinning her round to face her. Maura pressed herself into Jane, gripping Jane's face between her hands, holding her in place while Maura's tongue explored Jane's mouth. She stepped forward, thrusting Jane against the unlocked front door. Jane met Maura's passion, wrapping her arms Maura's middle.

Jane shifted her arms securely around the woman between them before she lifted Maura from the ground. The blonde's legs immediately wrapped around Jane. Their kiss was constant. Jane turned their bodies to face the door, still holding Maura against her as Maura's lips drifted to Jane's jaw and neck and anything else she could reach. Key still in the lock from before the distraction, Jane turned the key, pushed open the door, removed the key, and shut the door again in one fluid motion. The brunette walked them to the next door, jamming another key into the lock. As she did so, Jane pressed Maura roughly against her front door. Maura's strong legs grasped the brunette's waist firmly as Jane's arms released briefly to allow her hands to rove her waist and thighs possessively. The blonde's hands twisted in the brunette's hair, gripping at anything that would give her leverage to hold Jane closer.

Jane fumbled around for her doorknob, searching frantically for the key that she had left in the lock. Finally, the palm of her hand landed roughly onto the key's edge. It hurt. She didn't care. Wrapping a firm arm around Maura again, Jane threw her door open wide to admit them. When they had stumbled inside, she slammed the door closed behind them with her foot, throwing the keys onto the floor. They clanged satisfactorily against the hardwoods.

Once the door slammed shut, Maura climbed hesitantly off Jane. In the dim light, Jane could see nothing but swollen, grinning lips and tousled hair. Maura's black dress had completely ridden up; it now lay comfortably in the crook between Maura's thighs and her waist. Jane smiled crookedly as she took in her prey and her mounting victory. Jane hummed in her chest as her chin dipped low, peering at Maura from beneath dark lashes. Maura squealed playfully and ran in the opposite direction. Toward the bedroom in the back of the apartment. Jane gave chase, smiling like a fool.


	4. Chapter 4

Jane woke abruptly to her phone buzzing on the bedside table. It was a loud, obnoxious sound that made her remember she needed to put the thing on a damn book to avoid waking to the sound of the apocalypse when it went off. As her heart returned to a normal rhythm, wiping a hand across her face in exasperation, she opened an eye to read the new text. For a brief, unrealistic moment, she hoped it was Maura. _Maura doesn't have your number, Jane._ She scolded herself for never transferring the information. But in all honesty, they knew where to find each other. After all, they had, on numerous occasions since that first night. The Dirty Robber became the undiscussed rendezvous point. And exchanging numbers was too…real. She didn't even know the blonde's last name much less have her number. Jane didn't want real. Not with a woman. What would her mother think for Christ's sake?

_Boston Joes? 20 minutes._

The invitation was too inviting to pass up. The promise of coffee always got Jane out of bed, even if it _was _Detective Korsak she was meeting. Jane grudgingly swung her lower body from beneath the sheets. A small but very visible bruise blackened her inner right thigh when she brought her feet to the floor. A half toothed grin grew up the corner of Jane's face. A bite mark.

_Maura._

Exhaling loudly, Jane extracted herself from the bed determined to meet Korsak on time. But she couldn't explain the twisting feeling in her chest as she began to ready herself for the day. She missed her. Jane could feel the constriction in her stomach too. _Damnit, Jane. She's just a fuck buddy._ But Jane knew she was kidding herself. They didn't talk, not really. They had been up late on multiple occasions laughing about things that didn't matter - men at the bar, women at the bar, growing up in Boston, growing up in France. It nagged at Jane the way Maura could make her smile. Jane could tell Maura was a little awkward at times, not knowing how to react in some social situations but she clung to Jane, looking for her to rescue the moment. She always did.

As Jane ran mousse haphazardly through dark locks, she met her own eyes in the mirror. _Button up, Janie._ _This can't happen and you know it. Plus, you're a detective. How would you ever find time to date? If she knew what you did for a living, she wouldn't want to be with you knowing you wave a gun around half the day. No _man_ ever has. _

She straightened as the day became suddenly new by her own insistence. "You're not gay. You just like to…push the limits." Jane nodded to herself, satisfied with the affirmation.

When she got to Boston Joes, Korsak greeted her warmly. A smile was sufficient.

"Mornin' Detective," he dragged out the greeting like he was hosting a morning show.

Jane smiled. "Hey Korsak." As people began to fill her life, clenched stomachs and knotted chests lessened. In the presence of reality, the make-believe part of her life abated. It simply went back into its hiding place. For now.

Simultaneously, their phones rang after placing their orders. They exchanged a momentary glance before answering.

"Korsak,"

"Rizzoli,"

Jane may still be in the drug unit but she was moving to homicide soon. She desperately wanted homicide. She was hoping this might be her chance. If both her and Vince were called, this could be it. A dead drug dealer could be her big chance. The morbidity did not escape her.

"Sounds like we got a new M.E. too," Korsak informed her. Apparently, he was given more information about what to expect at their next case than she. Jane got the obligatory, "crack head's been shot," then the uniform on duty hung up. _Gah, I can't wait to get out of here. _But Jane's dedication to her job didn't allow any slack in her responsibilities. Every case became part of her. She would not leave any stone unturned, her sense of justice never waned.

"Dark roast for Jane," the barrista called from behind the counter. Jane reached for her coffee, thanking the woman. She smiled sincerely.

"And caramel latte, extra foam for Vince," Korsak stepped up to the counter, winking once in thanks.

"Come on, Casanova," Jane rolled her eyes as she gripped Korsak's unused arm, turning him toward the door.

When Jane and Korsak arrived at the scene half an hour later, armed with coffee, their conversation over the man's preference in women didn't slow.

"I'm just saying, if you need to settle on a fourth wife, the barrista at Boston Joes is not the way to go."

"Stop bustin' my balls. I just winked at her." He laughed despite himself.

"At least she makes a good coffee. If she didn't, I'd have to arrest her for illegal coffee handling."

Korsak was still laughing when they began their approach of the body. A uniform at the scene lifted the yellow caution tape, admitting them entrance as they flashed their badges.

Another detective Jane only knew in passing caught up with them detailing the case thus far.

"Multiple GSW's to the chest. One in the thigh. We haven't found the weapon but we're still looking. Neighbors said they heard gunshots about two a.m. this morning. The new M.E. just got here. She's inspecting the body now."

"Excuse me, _she_?" Jane only ever knew male M.E.'s. Their last M.E. was male. Maybe this one had more promise. _A female M.E. though…this can't be good. Don't tell me she squeals at the sight of blood._ Jane's thoughts began to trail off as she approached the crime scene. CSU was still sweeping for prints when Jane and Korsak walked into the apartment. She inspected the room immediately, taking in the details on her way to the body. It was habit now, to take in everything at once. When her initial sweep concluded, Jane took a sip of her dark roast as she saw a familiar blonde figure hovering over the body. The familiarity was uncanny. The curve of her hips, the swoop of her hair, and the way she tilted her head when she was thinking about something, it was almost like…

"Time of death is between one and five a.m. I will have to get him to the lab to run some tests but it looks like a 45 caliber bullet by the diameter of the entry wound." The curvy figure spoke from the ground, resting the body once again back to the floor. She flicked her hair away from her face as she looked up to meet the new detective's eyes.

Jane spat her coffee from her mouth instantly. Everyone in the room turned to stare. Mortified by her own unprofessionalism, Jane covered her mouth abruptly. Her eyes never left Maura's.

"Geez Rizzoli, you'd think you never saw a dead body before." Detective Martinez called her out openly. He always did.

"Sorry," Jane muttered, barely audible. Maura hesitated only minutely, staring at Jane in return, before she cleared her throat and continued with her work, breaking contact completely.

"This is Doctor Isles. BPD's new medical examiner." Korsak continued. Martinez began his inspection of the room as the introductions ensued.

"Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts." Maura thrust her hand out to Jane. The introduction wasn't for its customary intention of pleasantry. It was a challenge.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli, drug unit." Jane extended her hand clasping the gloved hand of the same woman she had tied to her bedpost and fucked not a week earlier. Here they were, exchanging pleasantries.

"Take him back to the morgue, I want to do a full autopsy." Maura signaled to the techs hovering at her hip, waiting for her signal. They had received it. The blonde stepped away from the body, removing the purple nitrile gloves from each hand. The techs removed the body before Jane had an opportunity to even inspect it. Korsak and Martinez had taken in enough of the scene to draw conclusions of their own. Jane was still immobile. Without a word, Maura picks up her black M.E.'s bag and exits the room without a second glance at Jane.

It took only a moment for Jane to compose herself and turn to follow the new M.E. out the door. _Maura, the girl I am sleeping with, is the new M.E.._ _Shit._

"Um..." she fumbled over the words, "Doctor Isles!" Jane finally called after the blonde.

"Yes?" Maura turned nonchalantly.

"I…we…did you know about this?"

"I can assure you, Jane, I did not." The M.E. turned to leave. Jane always prided herself on her ability to read people. It's what made her such a good cop. But Maura was an enigma. The detective in her wanted to run after the blonde and impel her for an answer or an explanation of what they were supposed to do. But for the sake of their…"relationship?" she decided not to press her. The new, undeniable pull toward the M.E. was unquenchable. Jane's throat felt dry as she watched Maura get into her black Mercedes and accelerate unnecessarily from the scene. Like she was escaping.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Maura pulled her black Mercedes into the driveway, her hands were shaking. "Stop it, Maura." Shaking out her hands once, twice, Maura squeezed her fingers into her palms to steady herself. The blonde pressed the ignition button, turning the engine off. She sat for a few more seconds, gathering composure. "An increased adrenaline reaction causes…" she paused, thinking. "Sweating, tremors, shortness of breath…" The M.E. began to list the symptoms like a health book to compartmentalize what had happened at the crime scene. She took a deep breath again, beginning to feel its calming effects.

"And why are you having an adrenaline reaction in the first place?" Again, the M.E. spoke aloud to herself, a habit she had picked up in childhood. _Because you met the woman you're falling in love with for the first time._ Maura realized the idea was preposterous. She couldn't fall in love with a woman she never really knew. She didn't even know how to contact the brunette. Their meeting ground was The Dirty Robber, an absolutely ridiculous place to meet someone but Maura couldn't ignore the truth of the matter. Now that she had introduced herself as what she was, not just a breathless name in the back of a cab, Maura couldn't deny it any longer.

Maura had feelings for Jane. Feelings she couldn't explain. Feelings that made no logical sense. It was why she hadn't gone back to their bar in a week. That last night with Jane, when there was laughter and easy tenderness (after a significant round or two of something more improper), almost tore Maura in two. On one hand, she was a renowned, respected, _straight_, medical examiner that dated CEOs and doctors alike. On the other hand was _the_ secret – the part of Maura that was a little corny but completely, irrevocably infatuated with her smiling brunette. Maura watched Jane interact with other people at the bar, watched her with taxi drivers, and anyone in between, she was nothing but rough exterior. Tough Jane on the outside. But Jane saved that dimpled grin for Maura, only Maura. It made her melt every time that all-consuming grin spread across Jane's face as she took Maura between her hands, kissing her fervently. Like she needed Maura for air.

Maura pressed open her car door abruptly. Frustration mounting as she began to identify all the ramifications of finding out she now would be working with Jane. Everything changed. It both frightened and infuriated the blonde. She had a strict, no dating co-workers policy. She never deviated from it. This wasn't exactly _dating_ but it went under the category of intimacy which, to Maura, was interchangeable in matters such as this. It served her right for playing this new game where she doesn't know anything about the woman she was sharing a bed with. It was reckless and she knew better. As Maura marched up the walkway to her front door, she could feel the tension peak. She unlocked the front door, walked through, dropped her bag immediately against the hardwood floors and slumped against the back of the door as she slammed it closed. Her dress hiked up to her hips as she brought her knees to her chin, securing her arms around them, and resting her forehead against her kneecaps. "What am I supposed to do, Bass?" She could hear the tortoise thudding through the kitchen when she had entered. Her muffled question went unanswered.

Half an hour later, Maura pulled her stiff body from the floor, finally confident enough to shower and get into bed. Tomorrow would be a new day. Maybe tomorrow she wouldn't be such a coward. She would draw the line between her and Jane and that was that. Jane was a colleague and nothing more.

To seal her resolution, Maura strutted into the precinct the next day. She wore her new dress from Saks and wore the strappy black Christian Louboutin's that made her feel sexy…and made her ass look sumptuous. She may be drawing a proverbial line in the sand but it didn't mean she couldn't make Jane pant a little before then. Maura knew she looked fierce. Black always made her feel self-assured and deadly (no pun intended), like she could take on the world and not get a hair out of place doing so.

Maura's confident clacking against the precinct's lobby floor had heads turning from every direction. In a house full of cops with bad shoes, heels were the last thing they expected to see or hear. The sideways glances made Maura smirk to herself as she stood waiting for the elevator to arrive taking her downstairs to the morgue. Secretly, she reveled in the attention. The elevator pinged, announcing its arrival. Maura gracefully stepped inside the small, gray box and pressed the "BB" button. She ran practiced fingers through her blonde hair, fluffing out the loose curls, and finally looking up to meet the stares of everyone in the lobby as the doors closed in front of her. Everyone, including Jane.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm, uh, going to introduce myself to the new M.E., guys. I'll catch you upstairs," Jane was already walking to the elevators as she announced it.

"You met her yesterday, Jane. Remember? When you wasted coffee on a spit-take right in front of her?" Martinez chuckled in his throat, looking to the other detectives for confirmation of his hilarity. Jane could hear the other men chuckle in accord.

Jane mumbled something about breaking faces if they brought it up again when the elevator doors closed, sealing her inside. The elevator descended distressingly fast. Jane didn't know what she was going to say or how or if she would find any words at all. But there was a magnetic pull toward the blonde that Jane couldn't shake. In the dark, late at night, under only dim lights from the bar or at Jane's apartment, it was easy to be with Maura. It wasn't awkward or difficult to talk to her. They just _were_. They didn't even need to be the people they were in the sunlight, handling guns or scalpels. They were just Jane and Maura.

**ONE WEEK, SIX HOURS AGO**

It had only been two days since Jane had seen her blonde last. But it only took 24 hours for Jane to start to miss the soft skin and gentle touch of the woman she was beginning to see on a regular basis. True, they never planned to rendezvous nor did they even have one another's number to plan such meetings but somehow they knew. One might be waiting longer than the other but it was always constant, if one showed, so did the other.

It was late, too late, The Dirty Robber was closing in an hour but Jane had to try. It had been a long case; spread of a new drug called Speedball had been sitting in Jane's stack of unsolved cases for weeks. They had no leads on a supplier but kids were turning up dead, overdosed, in shady places all over the city like dead flies. Finally, early yesterday morning, they had a lead. Bursting through the supplier's front door, Jane arrested a middle-aged man named Chuck. He didn't look like an addict, which disconcerted her the most. But as exhaustion overcame her after the adrenaline died maybe an hour after the arrest, Jane couldn't keep one person from her mind. Jane was never a woman that needed another for comfort. She never needed anyone like that. Not even as a kid. But there was something about Maura that completely undid her. Jane found herself irreversibly craving Maura at a carnal level.

_Please be here, Maura,_ Jane silently pleaded as she rounded the corner onto the street that housed the bar.

When Jane entered the tavern, only the dregs of bar life were left lingering in the dim lighting. A few cops she didn't even know, a few barely legals, and some middle-aged men scattered around at odds and ends in the space. Jane scanned the room nonchalantly for her blonde – nothing. Jane's face fell. She didn't even realize how much she wanted to see the blonde until she didn't, and couldn't until maybe the next night when she knew unconsciously that she would try again. Jane shuffled to the bar as Sal greeted her with a nod. Jane raised a single finger, asking silently for a beer. By the time Jane sat down, Sal had a Blue Moon waiting. An orange peel freshly shoved into the bottle made the beer foam, Jane took a large swig anyway. The liquid soothed her throat, hitting her stomach with another satisfying coating of warmth. The beer immediately began its reach to her fingertips and toes as she realized she had hardly eaten during the day. _Great,_ Jane inhaled deeply, prepping herself for the oblivion of alcohol.

Sal took a wet, white rag to the bar top as patrons began to exit intermittently. Jane sat alone at the bar. Sal didn't hurry her. Another swig, Jane was sinking into a gloom. Her shoulders slumped, her body unwinding. She would be alone tonight and for the first time in years, it made Jane suddenly feel incredibly lonely. Another swig.

But no sooner had Jane begun to melt into a despondency she couldn't shake that warm, comforting, familiar hands drifted around her middle from behind. "You look tired, let me take you to bed." A deep, sultry, _feminine_, lilt echoed in her ear as the woman pressed herself reassuringly against Jane's back. Jane didn't turn right away but she smiled to herself uncontrollably.

Maura grazed her lips against the spot just below Jane's ear. The same spot that sent shivers down her spine every time Maura kissed it, always making Jane respond immediately. The brunette turned her cheek toward the other, accepting the gesture.

"I thought you would be gone by now,"

"No, you didn't." Maura teased, nuzzling Jane's cheek playfully. "You're here." The conclusion was not lost on Jane. Yes, she did _hope_ that Maura would be here, waiting.

"You waited,"

"I did." Maura was always blunt. Jane never had to wonder if Maura was telling the truth because she never skirted around anything. If that's what Maura was doing, if that's what she wanted, she told her. Jane turned fully on the stool to face the blonde; Maura relinquished her hold on the brunette as she spun but entrapped her immediately between her arms placing both hands on the edge of the bar at either side of Jane. Jane's dimpled grin reached ear to ear. She tried to suppress it; hiding the surprising amount of joy Maura brought her by waiting.

"You didn't have to,"

"And miss this look on your face?" Maura smiled deeply, eyes dropping every so often to linger on Jane's lips as they curled in a matching smile. They held each other's eyes for moments more before the silent agreement passed between them. _Let's get out of here._

Immediately, Jane threw a $10 bill on the bar turning to leave, always keeping at least one part of Maura in her periphery. Maura waited, shifting from one foot to the other. Jane couldn't help but smile again as she recognized the signs of impatience. She tapped the bar twice in goodbye to the barkeep.

"See ya, Jane." Sal called back, returning immediately back to wiping down the bar. Jane turned on her heel to meet the alluring eyes of her blonde. Maura was absentmindedly twirling a piece of hair between her fingers. The women gravitated toward one another, their arms brushing, bodies stepping in sync. Maura was still twirling the piece of hair when Jane pressed a hand to the small of Maura's back, leaning toward her ear, "You know that's a sign of sexual frustration." Maura smiled.

"Good thing you're going to help me with that."

Jane pushed the door of the bar open, walking through first, a hand lingering to hold the door for the blonde to follow. Maura stepped forward toward Jane reaching out to graze her fingers against the woman's torso. "Thank you," she whispered against Jane's lips. Smiling together, Jane guided Maura down the street turning the corner she had passed hardly half an hour before. Once descending down the dark street, Maura looped an arm through Jane's, looking for both the closeness and security Jane gave her. Street lamps on this block were intermittent. Both Jane and Maura could see her car only feet away parked under the light of the next lamp. Jane couldn't take the waiting. In the dark between two orange glows from the streetlights, Jane hastily pressed Maura against the brick wall at the back of The Dirty Robber. Jane's lips crashed onto Maura's. Maura's response was immediate as she opened her mouth to Jane's, the kiss instantly heated. Maura's thigh pressed forward spreading Jane's legs. Jane moaned into Maura's mouth. The blonde's hands roamed upward into the brunette's hair gripping a handful and pulling Jane closer still. Jane's tongue pressed into Maura's mouth, Maura's tongue meeting her at the entrance.

Lifting just the edges of Maura's top, Jane explored the newly exposed skin. Maura's thigh clenched at the sudden contact making Jane groan, the friction almost unbearable. Jane ground against Maura's leg anyway, unable to stop herself. Maura could feel the heat between Jane's legs.

"God, Jane, fuck me, _please_!" An exasperated and begging Maura was Jane's favorite. Jane complied, taking her hand and leading her to her car. The brunette opened the back door and motioned inside, smiling dangerously.

"You don't have tinted windows, Jane."

"Do you _really_ care at this point?" It was two a.m., no, Maura didn't care. She climbed in the backseat turning to accept Jane as she closed the door behind her. Jane pressed a hand against the small of Maura's back, guiding her down against the seat so Jane could straddle her. Jane's dark hair collapsed around them creating a curtain. Maura's eyes found Jane's in the darkness and beaming at one another, Jane closed the distance between them. Jane's leg pressed between Maura's grinding against her. Maura called out almost immediately, "Oh, Jane!" Jane's efforts redoubled but it wasn't enough, not for Jane. She wanted to be inside Maura, pushing her to orgasm. Jane's left hand lifted from the edge of the seat, her body tilting to the right to support her weight as she pulled at the button on Maura's green pants.

They admitted her almost immediately as Jane slid her hand beneath the fabric, lifting her panties as well on her way inside. Maura gasped at the contact. Jane enjoyed the feel of the soft bare skin she found there. Swirling her ring finger gently over Maura's clit had the blonde shrieking her name again, the sudden contact almost too much. Releasing, Jane glided her middle finger lower finding admittance and pressing into Maura. The blonde whimpered beneath her. Jane pumped in and out of Maura, increasing speed then slowing, increasing then slowing. The agonizing pace drove Maura crazy and Jane knew it. Jane slowed again as she pressed her thumb against Maura's clit, circling. The blonde's breathing became ragged and more intense. Jane increased her speed matching Maura's breathing. The moaning was getting louder. Jane's own arousal grew with each thrust. Pressing a second finger into Maura, was almost her undoing. The blonde moaned louder than she had in days. Jane knew anyone in within close enough distance from her car could hear.

"_Maura_, shhhh," Jane was almost laughing. Her chest swelled with pride, it was an immense compliment knowing she could have this affect on her. It didn't stop her efforts. Thrusting deeper, Jane simultaneously circled with her thumb and began to curl her two fingers against Maura's inner walls. It was enough. Maura's orgasm exploded around Jane's fingers. Maura's gasp was nearly a scream until Maura muffled herself with one of Jane's shirts from the floor. The blonde thrust gently against Jane's hand carrying her orgasm into its next stages of contentment.

**PRESENT DAY**

The doors of the elevator burst open, taunting Jane to proceed. She cleared her throat and stepped from the elevator. Each step closer to the doors of the morgue made Jane's throat tighten. Jane could see the two windows on those doors. Each step was allowing her to see more of the inside of the morgue. _She's in there_, _just on the other side of those doors._ Jane caught herself being hopeful.

_Head up, Jane. You're just making sure there won't be any awkwardness now that we are working together. Try not to hold the whole, "haven't seen or heard from you in a week" thing against her._


	7. Chapter 7

**ONE WEEK, FIVE HOURS AGO**

As Maura came down from her climax, Jane removed her hand, staring down at the satiated woman below her. A crooked smile grew at the corners of her lips. Maura opened her eyes in time to see it.

Breaking eye contact, Jane looked around from the back seat of the car for anyone approaching. Especially cops. She knew too many cops. A patrol car a block away turned onto the street approaching at a speed that told Jane he was looking for drug or gang activity…or crimes against public decency. Something like what they were doing. "Shit," Jane said beneath her breath. The brunette dismounted, turning inside the car, stepping over the center consol, and plopped into the driver's seat.

"Jane?" Maura concern riddled her voice. Her legs were still parted, her pants unbuttoned. Jane could see Maura's still dark, wanting eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Everything's fine, baby." She pulled her keys from pocket and thrust them into the ignition. Almost immediately, Jane was in drive, pulling in front of the patrol car, and turning onto the next street. Jane kept looking in her rearview mirror to make sure the cop didn't grow suspicious and decide to follow them. He didn't. And too late, Jane realized that the pet name she used without thinking had made Maura noticeably blanch.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit._ Jane's mind reeled.

"You okay?" Jane called before she lost her nerve, looking in the rearview mirror again trying to meet the other woman's eyes.

"Yes, sorry. Lost in thought." Maura smiled, suddenly handing Jane a professional smile instead of an intimate one like they shared moments ago. Jane could tell the pet name was bothering her but maybe it was something more. Jane's stomach clenched with regret. _It just slipped out!_ She wanted to yell. She left Maura to her thoughts in the backseat as she berated herself for being so careless. But before the self-deprecation could really take off, Maura was climbing the center console to drop into the passenger seat. The grace with which Maura did so was not lost on Jane.

Jane didn't dare look at her. She didn't want to make matters worse. But what caught Jane off guard was the sudden fear of doing something that would make Maura want to go away permanently. Jane's jaw clenched, her hands tightening on the wheel. The realization unsettled her.

"Jane," Maura inquired softly.

"Hmm?"

Maura reached across the consol, her fingertips barely brushing against Jane's side. The reassuring but hesitant gesture melted the rigidity growing through Jane's body. "Do we need to talk about this?"

"About what, Maura? I'm sorry, it slipped, it won't happen again."

But it wasn't what Maura was talking about.

**PRESENT DAY**

She pressed open the door to the morgue. Maura was alone, familiarizing herself with the tools and cataloging something Jane couldn't quite see. The blonde didn't turn around.

"Hey," Jane's voice cracked. She cleared her throat to start again, "Hey." She said with more force. _Well! So much for not awkward. Way to go, Rizzoli._

Maura turned slowly, still writing something in the margin of her notebook. She looked up hesitantly. The detective in Jane could see the M.E.'s body grow rigid. Maura didn't want to look at Jane and the reality of it struck Jane deep in the chest. Jane thought she was getting better at reading Maura…in the day time. But when their eyes met, Jane felt a familiar flutter in her stomach. _God, I want you._ Jane had to swallow the thought like a rock. The truth of their new reality hit her hard.

"Jane," Maura said the word like a prayer, an acceptance and an acknowledgement.

"Maura," Jane tilted her head just so, looking at Maura from beneath dark lashes. She stepped hesitantly closer, testing their resolve. Jane knew Maura had the same intention that she did, that this needed to stop. But…

"Jane, wait," Maura held her hand up, stepping back gently. "We can't. I have a rule against being _intimate_ with co-workers." She punctuated the word like it could sum up everything that they were. But this sounded rehearsed. Jane could hear the practiced ease with which the words left her mouth. There was a sudden lack of sincerity in her voice, it was a side Jane hadn't seen before.

"And you _never_ push the boundaries, _do you_?" Jane taunted her, trying to pull the Maura she knew back out. Maura had told her she was never spontaneous and reckless like she was with Jane. No names, no numbers, no details. Just sex. With another woman. It was scandalous and Jane knew Maura loved it. Because after all, no one begged for something they didn't actually want. And Maura had begged.

"_Hush_," Maura warned, looking around the room for onlookers or anyone within hearing distance. Her face flushed. She was making every effort to step back when Jane stepped forward. "Jane, please. We can't do this. Not now." She pleaded with Jane like it was paining her to do so.

Jane hesitated, taking in everything at once. Maura's face was flush, she shifted uncomfortably, her face wasn't distant or repulsed, it was distressed. Jane marched toward the M.E. resolutely, grabbing her by the elbow and dragging her through the bay doors at the back of the morgue. Unless there was a murder, there wouldn't be any bodies, living or dead, coming through today.

Once through the doors, Jane pushed Maura abruptly into the wall, away from the doors. "Look, I get that you don't want to see me anymore. You stopped showing up at The Dirty Robber after…that night." Jane hesitated, shifting her weight onto her other foot. "But when I saw you last night at the crime scene and again today, you…there's something…" Jane wiped her nose haphazardly, a physical manifestation of her struggle with the emotion. It was her tell. Maura recognized it immediately. Jane continued, "your eyes say, 'stay' but your body says, 'go'. So, which is it?"

**ONE WEEK AND FIVE HOURS AGO**

They drove in silence. The air between them was heavy with things unsaid. Maura didn't reach across the console again but her fingers itched to close the distance. When they finally reached Jane's block, neither said anything as they got out of the car and mindlessly went to Jane's door. Maura waited patiently as Jane pulled out her keys and let them in. Jane held the door open behind her for Maura to follow. There was no question.

Air crackled with the tension of their silence. As Jane went to the kitchen, pulling the refrigerator door open roughly, bottles clanking loudly in the door, Maura roamed the living room as if seeing it for the first time. In truth, it was the first time she wasn't completely distracted while she was there. Usually clothes were half off at this point. A very distracting activity.

Maura could see Jane standing in the light of the open refrigerator door, upturning a beer between her lips. She watched the brunette, taking in her posture, the arch of her back, the fall of her hair, the set of her jaw. Maura's head tilted as she studied her. She watched Jane finally drop the bottle back to a resting position. Jane's teeth clenched either from the hops of the beer or the ramifications of drinking so much in one swig. Jane turned from the refrigerator, leaning instead against the island in the middle of her kitchen. Maura watched as Jane refused to make eye contact with her. She put the bottle on the counter, swirling it on the surface. The edge of Maura's mouth curved upward. _What a stubborn woman you are._

Maura approached the brunette cautiously. She knew Jane could see her advancing, Maura made no attempt to hide it. Jane's twirling halted when Maura was in reaching distance. Maura didn't stop, she reached forward as she had earlier, brushing the tips of her fingers along the smooth edges of Jane's waist. She still didn't stop. Maura pushed forward, the tips of her fingers becoming hands, hands becoming arms. Maura had one hand on the counter and one on Jane, a hand on something steady and a hand on something unstable. Maura tentatively pushed her body against the brunette's. Jane still hadn't moved but she hadn't moved _away_. Maura's lips found Jane's cheek, her jaw, her neck, gently drifting between the spots, nuzzling and inviting. When the hand on Jane's waist tightened, pulling Jane closer into Maura's open body, Jane vacated her beer for a better high. _Maura._ The word breathed through Jane like fresh air. Immediately, Jane's lips found Maura's.


	8. Chapter 8

**ONE WEEK AND FIVE HOURS AGO**

Jane turned her body into Maura's. Her scarred hands tangled themselves immediately in blonde hair as their breathing became ragged. They clutched at each other frantically, all hesitance and fear from previous minutes lost. Maura tugged at the hem of Jane's shirt, begging for entry. Jane pulled Maura closer, allowing Maura's hands to roam Jane's bare skin beneath the fabric.

Maura was suddenly ravenous; gripping Jane's hips roughly, Maura turned Jane against the island in the kitchen, pinning her back against the edge of the counter. But she couldn't stop there if she wanted to. Maura pushed Jane onto the countertop, Jane's hair falling into her face as she looked down into Maura's eyes, gauging their intention. Maura stood on her toes to kiss Jane's swollen lips. Jane held her close. Tongues intertwined and breathing was uncontrollable. Maura reached a hand upward toward Jane's chest and with a single finger pressed Jane back against the counter. Jane lay against the cold surface without question.

"Jane, I'm going to taste you." They had never broached the matter before but there was something about that night that made all the difference. Jane had never attempted it with a woman and from the lilt in Maura's voice, it was clear that she hadn't either. This was new to everyone in every possible way.

Jane nodded.

Maura pulled at Jane's belt buckle and then button releasing the pants from confinement. She pulled them slowly from Jane's hips watching her carefully, testing Jane's commitment the experiment. Jane and Maura watched each other closely for any hesitation. They may be sleeping together for fun but this would take what they had to another level. An intimate one. This would change things. Wouldn't it?

Jane's pants and belt hit the hardwood floor of her kitchen with a satisfying clank. The thin slip of material of Jane's panties was the only thing between Jane's bare skin and Maura's mouth. Maura inched forward, her eyes never leaving Jane's except to glance down at her canvas only briefly to advance her work. With every slow, hesitant movement, Jane's excitement grew. Doubt was erased by Maura's touch. And when Maura's mouth finally reached its destination, Jane's gasp was involuntary.

Jane lay her head back, relaxing into the pulses of pleasure that Maura's tongue was inducing through her body. Her gasps and pants increased with each roll of Maura's tongue. When Maura ran her nails across Jane's muscled torso, Jane's breath caught in her throat as she reached an entirely new level of ecstasy. Maura's efforts redoubled. Jane grasped the back of Maura's head, pulling her closer as her orgasm neared. All fear, doubt, and hesitation was gone. Completely uninhibited, Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's legs, pulling her closer, overwhelmed with the desire to be nearer.

With a final swipe of her tongue, Jane peaked. With each thrash of her orgasm, her cries echoed through the small apartment. Jane's fingers seized Maura's hair, her fingers pulsing; every clutch matched the pulsing through Jane's body. Seconds drifted in and out as Jane's orgasm extended. When it subsided at last, Maura pulled away from the open space between Jane's legs. Jane brought both hands to her face, and through her hair, drunk with the feeling.

"Well that was…invigorating." Maura said proudly, both hands on her hips. Jane couldn't keep herself from turning onto her side and laughing.

"What?" Maura was smiling but she was at a loss. "What's so funny?"

"You," Jane said between snorts. Even as Maura waited for a better explanation, Jane could see the lost look on the blonde's face. Composing herself, the brunette sat up, swinging her legs off the edge of the counter, and pulled the blonde toward her. Still chuckling in her chest, Jane pulled Maura's lips onto hers.

"I still don't know why you're laughing." Maura concluded.

"Because you're adorable." Jane regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. She knew they were real. They hinted at the feelings that Jane was already feeling for her blonde. _I'm going to scare her away._ Jane chastised herself. _Take it easy._ But when Maura smiled widely at her, those concerns melted. Closing the distance between them again, Maura kissed her heartily in reply.

"Jane?" Maura asked after a time.

"Hmm?"

"Tie me to your bed."

Jane stopped, pulling away from Maura's embrace. The detective studied Maura's expression.

"You're serious."

Maura's devilish smile grew at the corners of her mouth. Jane smiled in spite of herself. The questions, the worry, the hesitations began to ebb. They droned on in the back of her mind, begging to be adhered to, but Maura's taunting stare was leading her into the bedroom and her eyes were silencing everything but Jane's desire. _I should stop. If we do this, I won't be able to stop. If she lets me do this…I can't…ah,_ f_uck it._

And Jane did just that.

An hour later, Jane woke to nothing in particular. She watched her blonde beside her breathing deeply, completely lost in a dream. She lay on her back, head tilted toward Jane. Her mouth parted slightly. Jane suppressed the urge to kiss her.

_You're in too deep, Janie. _Jane turned away from Maura, mentally distancing herself from the woman. Unable to keep herself from turning back, Jane removed herself from the bed entirely. She swept into the kitchen seeking solace in a glass of water. She turned on the light above the stove as she poured water from the tap into her glass. She took one sip before dropping the glass to the countertop in frustration. Jane held herself over the counter, pressing her palms into the hard surface.

_Fun. This was supposed to be fun. Not painful._ There weren't questions anymore, not after that night. Now, there was only a longing, a burning desire to be more to Maura than a fling. She wanted more _of_ Maura. The agonizing truth was that she knew she couldn't. _This wasn't the plan. _Jane didn't intend on falling in love with Maura.

"Are you alright?" Maura's husky voice called from the doorframe of Jane's bedroom. Her voice was riddled with concern.

Jane cleared her throat, ridding it of the emotion that clogged it. She turned her head in Maura's direction but thought better of it and returned to hover over the counter. "Yeah, I'll come to bed soon."

"Jane?" The brunette could hear Maura advance toward her through the kitchen.

"I'm fine, Maura." Jane tensed. She could feel the other woman near like her body was tuned to it.

"I don't believe you."

"Well, you should."

"Talk to me," Maura knew better than to reach out; she knew better than to touch her.

"Why?" Jane finally turned around to face the blonde. Her confidence rose alongside her frustration. The dim light from the stove cast harsh shadows across Maura's face. It made Jane want to reach out. The way her hair fell into her face, the way her mascara smudged at the edge, the way her eyes begged for an answer all made Jane want to take her into her arms and then directly into bed.

"Because I'm here." Maura's voice was calm whereas Jane's had taken on an edge.

"That wasn't the point though was it?" _Stop talking, Jane. Just stop._

"What wasn't the point?"

"_Us_. We aren't supposed to be close. We were just supposed to have _fun_. That was it."

"You aren't having fun anymore."

"It's getting too real, Maur."

"Yeah…" Maura considered for a moment. "It is."


	9. Chapter 9

**ONE WEEK, FOUR HOURS AGO**

Jane was driving Maura back to her house twenty minutes later. Having never been to her house before, Jane was relying heavily on Maura's direction despite wishing she didn't have to speak to her at all. Jane was hurt and she didn't know why. Her chest constricted at an idea that was dawning on her slowly – she would never see Maura again. They would never cross paths. Why would they? Jane was a detective. Unless she was at the Robber, she didn't get out much. She _still_ didn't even know what Maura did for a living. For all Jane knew, she could be from the next town over. The idea of never seeing her blonde again made her want to stop the car immediately, turn around, and carry her possessively back to her apartment. But knowing that she was the one that would deliver Maura back to her own life and away from _her_ made Jane unable to breathe. She tensed her hands against the wheel.

"Just here, Jane." Maura's voice was distant and resigned. Jane pulled into Maura's driveway. Momentarily, Jane swooned at the size of Maura's home, complete with guesthouse. Suddenly, Jane realized she didn't know anything about the blonde sitting next to her. She didn't know a single thing about the woman that was breaking her heart. Jane sat back against the driver's seat, refusing to turn the ignition off. She didn't look at Maura. Not at first. Not until it was clear that Maura wasn't getting out of the car.

"Jane…" Maura began. She couldn't finish but it was enough to make Jane look at her. Dark eyes met hazel as they watched each other waiting for the other to beg for this to stop.

"Goodnight, Maura." Jane steeled herself against the pain, resolute in her grave mistake. _You shouldn't have fallen for her._

"Goodnight, Jane." Maura's voice was almost a whisper. She pressed the door open, stepping out and onto the pavement without a backward glance.

Jane watched Maura press her door open and close it again behind her before she thought about leaving. _Son of a bitch! _Her head screamed, pounding a fist on the steering wheel.

Jane pushed her car into gear and pulled onto the street. Before she could stop herself, she was driving back to her apartment, away from the woman that made her laugh uncontrollably, away from the woman she actually felt her whole self around, away from the woman she was developing feelings for, away from Maura.

Jane cried for the first time since she was nine.

**PRESENT DAY**

"So, which is it?"

"None…neither." Maura hesitated, flustered. After a moment, the blonde sighed in finality. "I don't _do_ this, Jane. I'm not some fling. I have a doctorate, I'm a respected medical examiner. I date CEOs and doctors…"

"And not blue-collar cops," Jane finished for her. The brunette turned to leave. Jane had sized Maura up as blue blood since she had first seen her. As she spent time with her, despite the activities, Jane loosened a little at the idea. She had grown up with a distaste for the blue bloods of Boston. Getting to know Maura had made Jane more forgiving. _I thought you were different._ Jane's heart fell.

"Women." The word was barely audible. But it made Jane pause.

"I don't date women."

Jane had turned an ear to Maura, considering her next course of action. But the final words dug into Jane's heart like nails. The pain was excruciating. Jane kept walking. Her heels struck across the tile floors of the morgue as she walked away from the blonde. _Her_ blonde.

Maura heard every pounding, frustrated step as Jane left her in the bay alone. Some part of Maura wanted desperately to run after her, to apologize for being cruel, to beg forgiveness, but she was frozen; torn between the logic of her words but the pounding of her heart whenever Jane was near. _It doesn't make sense. _She thought. _I'm straight, but I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop myself from wanting her. There's no logic to explain my heart palpitations. I've always had a deep mistrust of bisexuality; there is no research to support it either. But Jane is…different._ Maura finally found the ability to move about the same time that she remembered to breathe. She hesitantly entered the morgue, trying in earnest to organize and compartmentalize her thoughts.

"Doctor Isles, I need you to go over this tox. screen. The previous medical ex…are you okay?" Maura had just met the junior criminalist earlier that morning. She had assessed the young woman as one that found her passions in science and not much else. She lacked distinct social interaction skills, which explained the shock that registered on her face at the sight of Maura's expression of emotion. Not wanting to explain herself or make the woman uncomfortable, Maura blinked away her confusion and sadness smiling reassuringly to the criminalist.

"Yes, Junior Criminalist Chang. I'm fine. What do you have for me?" Maura was polite, with no trace of sadness – a handy trick she learned in boarding school.

Even as the criminalist droned on, Maura struggled to keep her thoughts focused. Nevertheless, as the thrill of a biological mystery eventually overtook her, the events of the morning sunk into the recesses of her mind.

Jane pounded into the drug unit, slamming the door open, and falling into her seat making it creak under the strain. Her face was tight; she hid nothing. Immediately, she busied herself with the paperwork sitting untouched on the edge of her desk.

"On your period, Rizzoli?"

"Shove it up your ass, Martinez." Jane didn't look up but she seethed, saturated in frustration.

"Jesus, take a Midol."

Jane leapt from her chair causing it to spin haphazardly across the floor in her wake. "You know what?" She began, her voice rising.

"Whoa, hey, whoa!" Detective Mateo stepped in, pushing both Jane and her target away from one another.

"You," he pointed to Detective Martinez. "Don't be a jack ass. And you," he turned to Jane. "Don't let him bait you. Come on guys, we play for the same team." _What a poor choice of words._ Jane thought. Regardless, Jane found her seat again and continued filing her most recent cases, explaining everything in sharp detail.

By the time Jane looked up from her desk, it was late at night and much later than she had anticipated. Most of the room had cleared out – either on assignment or at home. Jane stretched, lifting her aching, stiff body from behind her desk. As Jane began her silent trek to her apartment, sadness overtook her. It was the same kind of sadness that plagued her a week ago before, the same one she had before her last night with Maura. Everything dulled, light seemed to be filtered by the grief. It was loneliness shadowed by rejection. Jane was angry that she had allowed someone to get so close, she was angry that she had hoped, angry that Maura didn't explain her intentions from the beginning. But mostly, Jane was angry with herself. _How could you have let this go so far?_ The question was on repeat as she worked through the pain. There was no other explanation – Jane had simply let things go too far. It lessened the sting to think that this had all been her fault, that it was _her_ responsibility to keep things light and she had let things get out of hand. It gave her a sort of levity to believe that she was still in control. It somehow made everything easier to swallow than the reality – Maura didn't want Jane.

As Jane sunk deeper into herself, she mindlessly pulled onto her street and parked in the only open space fifty yards from her front door. She turned the ignition off but couldn't bring herself to get out. Not yet. _It's still your choice. _Jane could feel her walls coming up. She barricaded herself behind the walls that had protected her from getting hurt by men. Now, she boarded them up for a woman. She was beginning to feel stronger with every wall she rebuilt. She closed every avenue that led to the soft place Maura had unexpectedly found. Jane swiped at her nose, steeling herself to enter her apartment. The one with all the memories.

Jane was still gathering her wits about her when she approached the front door…and the figure sitting on the front steps. Jane paused only briefly before proceeding. A blonde woman in her black pencil skirt loitered on the fourth step.

"Come to make me feel worse?"

"Jane, please, I came to apologize." Maura stood to address Jane as she climbed the steps. Jane passed the blonde without a second glance. As the brunette unlocked the front door, Maura stood at her heels waiting. Jane didn't hold the door for her but it didn't stop Maura from walking in behind her. Walking through the lobby, their pumps clacking loudly on the tile, Jane continued knowing without knowing that Maura would follow her.

"What are you apologizing for? You were honest, as always. Don't apologize for that, Maura."

There was silence again as they climbed the flight of stairs to her front door, the one marked '12'. Jane reached the door before the blonde, putting her key into the chamber and turning the mechanism. The door opened with a satisfying click but instead of entering, Jane turned to face Maura instead, holding the door partly open. Cocking her hip, Jane played at uncaring and irritated. She finalized the gesture with a hand on her hip. Maura knew the intention was to intimidate her but she couldn't help thinking of when she last touched Jane's hips, when she pulled her close, when she gripped them possessively. Maura swallowed, recognizing a symptom of arousal – salivation. As Maura recovered, she began to take in more of Jane: her jaw clenching, her hesitant stare, the purse in her lips. It wasn't anger, it was something else. _You're nervous, Jane._ Maura deflated immediately. She couldn't help but see vulnerable-Jane standing before her – the same Jane that only _she_ saw. And that Jane was trying to be tough.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to…I don't know how…I've never been very good with expressing myself. I have a hard time knowing what to say. I've always been a little _awkward_." Maura said the word just as awkwardly as was the definition of such a word.

Jane saw a familiar expression pass across Maura's face. She knew what it was as soon as she saw it because she saw it so often she'd recognize it with her eyes closed. But she never thought she'd see it in Maura. Jane saw regret. And it was this that made Jane push open her door completely, allowing the blonde to enter. Maura hesitantly stepped forward and still Jane didn't move. Maura felt pulled to her. _Don't reach out. Don't touch her._ Maura chanted as she neared. She couldn't keep herself from hesitating in front of the brunette. Maura looked up, meeting Jane's eyes. Only a small distance separated them. Maura thought she could hear Jane's heart racing. _Maybe that's just mine_. She corrected.

But Maura entered the apartment before she could say or do anything further. Unconsciously wrapping her arms around herself, Maura stepped into the living room, taking in Jane's space.

"Are you cold?" Jane's question was so unexpected that Maura couldn't come up with a response fast enough before Jane had rounded the couch, pulling a blanket from the basket behind it. Once retrieved, Jane guided Maura to the couch, throwing the blanket atop her. Maura immediately brought her feet onto the couch, laying her knees at an angle, instinctively curling into the cushions. Jane busied her hands with unassuming glasses of water.

When she returned, she handed one to Maura. The blonde smiled up at her briefly, mumbling a 'thank you', before returning her stare to inanimate objects in the room. Jane sat carefully on the other end of the couch, tucking herself beneath an edge of the wide blanket. Maura noticed that she ensured sufficient distance between them. Her chest constricted at the thought.

"I think I owe you an explanation." Maura held her glass securely between both hands to keep Jane from seeing them tremble. She hadn't looked up at Jane since she sat down but Jane waited nevertheless.

"When I saw you at the crime scene, I panicked." Maura met her eyes finally.

"Didn't seem like it. Seemed like you wanted to get away as fast as you could." Jane's tone was dismissive.

"Because I didn't know what to say! I don't blend my personal and professional life, Jane. I never have. It gets messy. Like this," Maura gestured between them. "It was easier when we didn't know one another, not really. No one was involved but us." Maura confessed solemnly.

"So, it was okay when we didn't know each other but now that you know who I am and what I do, and I know you, you don't want anything to do with this? With me?"

"I didn't say that,"

"You didn't have to. I read people for a living, Maura." Jane lifted herself from the couch. But before she could step away, Maura reached out, grabbing her wrist.

"Jane, wait," Maura pleaded. She waited for Jane to look at her. She did. "I know you're angry with me. You have every right to be. I didn't..." Maura hesitated, rolling her next words around in her mind and gauging the repercussions. "I didn't explain myself very well and I should have. Especially with you."

Jane paused, considering. Finally, she sat down again. Barely breathing, she waited.

"I should have rephrased. I should have said that I don't know _how_ to be with a woman. With you."

"Why couldn't you tell me that before?" Jane met her eyes again.

"I spend all day at work distracting myself from thinking about you. I stay busy during the day so at night I can be with you without confessing that I've had feelings for you for weeks. And the more time I spend with you, the worse it gets. I ran from you because if you work me, I have no other way of _not_ telling you."

"Maura!" Jane's face fell, all anger dissipated instantly as she whined the woman's name in frustration. She grasped Maura's hand between her own.

"Jane, I'm sorry," Maura withdrew her hand, holding both hands up in a placating gesture. "I know that wasn't the plan. I know we weren't supposed to be _together_, together but…"

Jane brought herself closer taking Maura's hand again. "Maura, I don't care." She rushed. "I don't care what the rules were, I don't care what we know about each other, or what we don't. I just…I just want you."

"Jane," Maura pleaded. She wanted Jane, oh she wanted Jane terribly, but being with Jane came with repercussions.

"Maura, tell me you didn't just say all of that for me to just let you go."

"No, but we have to talk about this. We have to have rules at work. We have to have rules for crime scenes, and when we…"

"Maura," Jane's exasperated tone was a warning. Maura stopped. They smiled immediately, unable to contain it. "We're going to do this?"

Maura nodded, smiling uncontrollably. She looked away, a wide smile on her lips.

"I want to kiss you right now but..." Jane pressed.

"Kiss me, Jane."


End file.
